Maya discovers a vintage book on popularity written in the 1950s and puts each chapter to the test in her 8th grade year at a public middle school in Brownsville, Texas. This book is NON-fiction. An actual 8th grader did things like wear a girdle, put vaseline on her eyelids, and sport a hat and gloves.
Maya is terrific writer, especially because at this time she is only fifteen. I hear that her book might be made into a movie. The chutzpah she had to do what she did...I have to say I really admire her.
Brownsville middle school is not a G rated place. Pregnant seventh graders, drug-sniffing dogs, in-school lock-downs are routine. This book is definitely not for the faint of heart.
Does Maya become popular? It's hard to say. The conclusions she comes to in her year-long experiment are incredibly insightful and can be applied to all ages. Maya is one "swell" kid.
It's no secret that we are bigtime John Flanagan fans over here. I recently re-read the first of the Brotherband Chronicles, The Outcasts. I remember being underwhelmed the first time around but now that I own an autographed copy of Book 5 (squee!) I began again.
Now I remember! I was frustrated that a plot twist in the last chapter or two chops off the story in media res.
This time however I was able to dive right into The Invaders: Brotherband Chronicles, Book 2. Hal and his seafaring friends are still on a long term quest, but I feel more settled now that Book 2 ended on a more positive note.I even got Book 3 from the library, because I must follow this until the end.
For all of you die-hard Ranger's Apprentice fans, Hal and Thorn are like Will and Halt. But with boats. Lots of boats and no horses.
Now for the rest or What Not to Read. I'm not going to bother making Amazon links for these, because they're just not worth my time or yours.
Masterminds by Gordon Korman. Meh. Kids in a seemingly perfect town learn that they are clones in a social experiment (The Truman Show?), and that their "parents" have lied to them their entire lives.
Very angst. Many hurts. Much unhappy with the grown-ups.
Also, the book is one big set-up for a series so the ending is really just the beginning and you know how I get irritated by that. Of all the books that I'm down on, this one is the least objectionable. I was annoyed by it, that's all.
Suite Scarlett by Maureen Johnson is about a girl, her quirky family, and the hotel they run in NYC. Could be fun and cute except that on page 1 we learn that it's Scarlett's fifteenth birthday. In the next few chapters, she falls in love with her college age brother's friend. Can you say statutory rape? Also her brother, the 19 or 20 something one is getting involved with one of the guests. A guest who is easily in her 50s. Hello Mrs. Robinson. Ew. I didn't finish it.
The War That Saved My Life by Kimberly Brubaker Bradley is about a girl with a clubfoot in England at the start of World War II. She is abused by her single mother, escapes the apartment she has been confined to her entire life, and gets relocated with other evacuees (including her brother) in rural Kent. In Kent, she finds acceptance and love in the home of her host.
Two problems.
First of all, I have read this book before. Different title. Boy child abused by his single mother, evacuated to rural England, rehabilitated by his host. It was called Goodnight Mr. Tom by Michelle Magorian. Both books are terribly tragic. The abuse story-lines are hard to stomach.
Secondly, in The War That Saved My Life, the woman who takes in the disabled girl and her brother is quite clearly a lesbian. She has suffered depression since the death of her lover. Taking in and caring for two evacuated, underfed, and disadvantaged children pulls her out of self-absorption and despondency.
Girls Like Us by Gail Giles. I want to like this book. The story of two special-ed high school graduates getting a home together and starting their adult lives is touching.
Let me just mention a few of the troubling topics.
Gang rape.
That's probably enough but there's more.
More rape.
And violence.
And abuse.
It was very painful to read.
Yes, the two mentally disabled young women become friends and find support and get their lives in order. But in a kids' book?!
Ok. I can't end on that note so let me direct your attention to my Instagram feed.
La, la, la, la, la...happy happy joy joy! That's Jill reading Perfect Square by Michael Hall.
Looking for picture books? I read far too many to review so I take pictures of the good ones and use the hashtag #housewifespicepicturebooks.
The collection grows every day. Jill is insatiable and my library has no limit on check-outs. Take a gander at the bounty of beautiful books that are actually appropriate for children!
*deep cleansing breaths*
That's better.
Now link up your book reports! I mean book reviews. Here's hoping your reads have been more peace filled than mine. This link up will be open til around May 30th. Perfect for the procrastinating reader.
Tries too hard. Vietnamese American girl with a connection to Rose Wilder Lane travels the country to do research and hooks up with a few guys along the way. #disappointed #adultbook
Fat kid who gained all of his weight since #spoiler his parents' double murder. Adopted by 911 dispatcher. Tries to find the killer with a long shot science project. #icried #teensandup
Girl enters foster care because her mom's boyfriend nearly beat her to death. Did her mom really hold her down while he beat her? #toodark #icried #makeyourkidsreadhappierstuff #teensandup
Best written book of this post. Autistic kid before autism had a name in a prep school in ME befriends KS kid whose mom just died. WWII. Bootleggers. Fiction that borders on fantasy. #middleschoolandup #awesome @vanderpool wrote #newbery #moonovermanifest
Young King Jaron and his landlocked country of Carthya are being attacked on all sides, by all of his enemies who have banded together against him.
With a few friends at his back, and lots of witty comments along the way, Jaron must face incredible odds while injured and grieving a devastating loss.
As usual, Nielsen combines great dialogue with action-packed adventure. I was particularly impressed with Jaron's invocation of "the saints" as he leads his people into battle and his concept of an afterlife for those who've lived virtuously.
I'd say these books are appropriate for ten and up? In The Shadow Throne, you will find battlefield violence, some tortuous beatings, death, blood, and the occasional kiss (maybe twice?). You will also find sacrifice, true love, loss, and responsibility, not to mention an epic surprise ending.
Cress is Marissa Meyer's sci-fi re-telling of Rapunzel, complete with a blind "prince."
Cress is a shell, which is like the Lunar version of a "squib." Lunars, the race of people that populates the moon, generally have the ability to control the minds of Earthens. But Cress doesn't.
She does have a gift for technology and hacking, which is why she has spent the last seven years of her life alone, in a satellite, monitoring all of Earth's secrets for the evil queen and cloaking the Lunar ships that are set to invade Earth.
Scarlet is only in this book briefly as she is captured by the Lunars and imprisoned on the moon. In those brief moments, she mentally re-hashes her one night of passion with Wolf and makes it seem as though perhaps it was just some passionate kisses.
In my opinion, the best scene in Cress, is when she and Captain Thorne (again, the likeness to Captain Jack Harkness was striking) crash land on Earth. Thorne has been blinded in a fight, and Cress has never been to the surface. He must ascertain their location and manage their survival through the eyes of someone who has never seen an animal in real life, or the sky, or the sun.
Her total naivete and innocence is the perfect foil for his brash womanizing attitude and their romance is one of the greatest things about this series.
Unlike the previous two volumes, Cress is very clean. Focused on fighting the evil Queen Levana and stopping her marriage to Cinder's heartthrob Emperor Kai, Cinder, Wolf, Cress, Thorne, and the lovable droid Iko face the impossible.
This series is definitely "young adult." I'll let my high school kids read it, I'd probably let an 8th grader read it, but with the joking sex change reference in Cinder, and the love scene and references to porn (which is frowned upon) in Scarlet, I'd definitely reserve this series for teens.
Last weekend, I discovered something quite interesting. Contrary to the propaganda I have been fed, my kids are not the only kids in the world with limited access to social media and technology. They are NOT the only teens in the US without smartphones.
Last Friday, we were at the pizza party the night before the oratorical competition and Susan had saved us seats...at a round table...where every other seat save one was occupied by another teenaged competitor. yay.
Talk about people watching. Listening to these teens was exasperating, mind-numbing, and yet weirdly illuminating. One or two of the girls were Totally Vapid. "OMG, I want a tattoo but I don't know what I would get. I mean I guess I would have to get my two cats because they are the most important things in my life right now."
But underneath all of the chit chat, there were some eye-opening realizations.
We were sitting with a higher class of nerd.
When Mason asked everyone, "What do you play?" Every teen at the table named at least THREE instruments, and/or mathlete, competitive dance, voice, glee club, or competitive speech.
When it was Susan's turn, she was dumbstruck. I mean she had just asked her neighbor, "What IS a bassoon?" and it was her turn.
Seeing her slack-jawed state, I blurted out with a big (scary) smile, "She plays volleyball!"
Everyone oohed and ahhed. These kids were NOT athletic = Understatement.
Another epiphany was when Rebecca told Zoe, "I just got a Facebook account like a month ago, and I have only been on there like twice. I don't even have Twitter." Zoe replied with an eyeroll, "I don't have Facebook or Twitter."
Then when Sanji said, "Do you want to see my phone?" Rebecca (of the future cat tattoos) said, "OMG, if you EVEN pull out the new Samsung Galaxy 4, I will DIE!" Sanji pulled out a flip phone circa 2000 and grinned. "It doesn't even get texts!" he said proudly.
We were also treated to a litany of Mason's weekend and after-school activities. That kid is so (over) scheduled, I doubt he has time to text or be on Facebook, much less play Fruit Ninja or do Snapchat.
I had been given the impression that my three high-schoolers were rare in that they might very well be the only teenagers in the 'verse who don't have smartphones, iPads, laptops, or ANY access to WiFi or the web without going through a parental portal, but apparently I was wrong.
It didn't start out this way.
It started out with limited texting.
Then one Kindle Fire.
Next came two iPod Touches.
And somewhere in there, texting became unlimited because the fees for going over their limits are more than the fees for unlimited.
Then it all got taken away, when we discovered a lot of ugly truths in a very short time period.
I knew there were apps on the Kindle, like Fruit Ninja and Temple Runner. We discovered that people were up waay past their bedtime (yes, I make my high-schoolers go to bed) wasting time slicing virtual fruit.
Or texting people of the opposite sex at all hours of the night.
Or using more than 10,000 texts in 2.5 weeks.
We discovered that our WiFi password was common knowledge. We periodically change our WiFi password, but here we made a critical error. We did not change our router password.
Teens KNOW EVERYTHING about technology.
There is some site where you can get your WiFi password if you have your router number (and if your router is not password protected) and the primary email, and even though I forgot what that site is, chances are your teen, or their friends know it.
With that discovery, the YouTube viewing history on the Kindle revealed several hours, like 70-100 hours of YouTube videos watched, mostly from a show that is verboten here, some from a movie that I would have let them watched had they just asked, and some silly videos that were slightly suggestive and linked to more dangerous content.
The iPod Touches that I naively thought could only be used for the music we had purchased (because the WiFi was supposedly password protected), were being used for texting (it's an app) and access to the entire internet, just like the Kindle, via the pirated WiFi password.
Everything went away. Completely. For every teen in our home.
And THEY SURVIVED!
Apps are dangerous.Did you know that there are apps out there that appear to be games but are actually hiding illicit content? I foolishly tried to search for articles about these apps, but including the terms "porn" or "illicit content" in my search got me nowhere (thank you filters!) except on some FBI predator watch-lists.
And no, my kids had no apps like that, but other kids I know have had those apps.
Good kids.
Kids with good parents.
Our children live in a world filled with temptations and danger beyond anything we dealt with as kids.
Starting with a clean slate, we have been able to re-instate some of the privileges that were lost, one at a time. We went on a huge learning curve, educating ourselves about things that we really don't have an aptitude or interest in, taking time and great pains to Teen-Proof our cyberspace.
Passwords:
EVERYTHING that can be password protected, should be. My cell phone and my laptop are password protected. Well, you need my right index fingerprint to use my laptop. The WiFi and the router are both password protected.
We still change the passwords regularly, and we use "holy" passwords, an idea that we stole from my parents. Religious things like "MaterDei128" which is Latin for Mother of God and the date of the feast of the Immaculate Conception. The more obscure the better.
We could even password protect our TV so that they can only watch programs of a certain rating, but unfortunately that prevents all live sporting events.
We blocked all offensive channels from our satellite receiver. Literate people could probably do that by reading the owner's manual, but we had to call our provider and have them walk us through it. Tedious for all involved, but worth it.
We don't do this because we think that the first second our back is turned, they are going to seek out terrible things. We do it to remove temptation, to protect their innocence, and because Patrick and I are revolted when WE have to scroll through those channels as well.
Filters:
We have a WiFi filter, and though it is far from perfect, it does work. I was unable to see some of Hallie Lord's favorite websites without the password for the filter, and I am unable to search for anything that includes the letter p, o, r, and n all in a row.
Did you know that Google has a filter called Safe Search? You can filter results on your own computer, which can be very nice while doing image searches of things for this blog. It's a button at the top of the Google page. Patrick says that everybody already knows this, but it was news to me.
Primary account holders can limit just about everything on cell phones.
The AT&T Smart Limits feature has allowed us to limit cell phone use past a certain time of day. After 10 pm, our children may only call or text our numbers.
We can limit quantities of texts, as well as what numbers can be texted and when. See above.
We can set up a time block to our wireless router so that it stops working at certain hours of the day or night.
Constant Vigilance:
With AT&T Smart Limits, we can see not only how many texts are being used by each cell phone user, but to what numbers and at what times. We can see who they call, and how long they are on the phone.
We check their Facebook pages and the email accounts. We have suggested that they unfriend this person or unlike this page from time to time. We have coached them on spam and phishing and helped them get unsubscribed from lists.
We helped them choose email addresses that do not reveal gender, name, or age.
My own Instagram account troubled me when I started getting "follow requests" from sleaze balls with offensive pictures. My mom told me to take my gender off my profile. It has also been suggested that "Housewifespice" isn't the best name for social media. I changed the gender to unidentified, reported the offensive photos, and I haven't had any problems since.
We have given them real examples of real life individuals who lost their college acceptance, got expelled from high school, or lost their jobs from what was posted on Facebook or Twitter. When I see articles like this one or this one, I make a point of educating them on how stupid mistakes can have huge consequences.
My teens' phones are subject to random checks from their parents. We pay for the phones, we own the phones, we are letting them have the privilege of using them.
We have suggested that they get their own two year contracts and pay their own cell phone bills with all the texting and apps they want, but surprisingly, they would rather play by our rules, for free!
A Case Against Smartphones
We are adamantly opposed to smartphones for our kids.
Who really needs a smartphone? If I could get a phone that was just a phone with email and Mapquest (because I forget stuff and get lost sometimes), that would be perfect. I don't need to carry the entire internet with me all the time.
Two of my brothers are in college right now. They are successful students, one a business major, one in grad school for chemical engineering and planning a wedding in June. They are good-looking, nice guys with lots of friends. They have never owned smartphones. My brother Greg can't even get my texts if I text him as part of a group.
Don't forget the higher class of nerd from last weekend. I have no doubt that (maybe with the exception of cat tattoo girl) they will be very successful adults.
My point is that not owning a smartphone has not affected them academically or socially.
Contrary to the picture my children have painted, it IS possible to be a well-adjusted, highly successful person WITHOUT a smartphone. I think more of us should try it, myself included.
I was recently asked if my kids resented the way things blew up and were removed, and they don't. Not anymore. There were some sullen and sad and shameful moments in the beginning, but they know we make the rules and pay the bills, and (hopefully) they know we did this because we love them.
Suddenly, having a phone from 7 am to 10 pm without texting seemed better than nothing at all. Now, a mere one hundred texts a month are a generous and precious commodity. Those prehistoric basic iPod minis that are only good for playing music have been located and charged again.
Sometimes, late at night the home phone rings and I get to hear, "Hello Mrs. Thornton! Is Peter there?"
Maya discovers a vintage book on popularity written in the 1950s and puts each chapter to the test in her 8th grade year at a public middle school in Brownsville, Texas. This book is NON-fiction. An actual 8th grader did things like wear a girdle, put vaseline on her eyelids, and sport a hat and gloves.
Maya is terrific writer, especially because at this time she is only fifteen. I hear that her book might be made into a movie. The chutzpah she had to do what she did...I have to say I really admire her.
Brownsville middle school is not a G rated place. Pregnant seventh graders, drug-sniffing dogs, in-school lock-downs are routine. This book is definitely not for the faint of heart.
Does Maya become popular? It's hard to say. The conclusions she comes to in her year-long experiment are incredibly insightful and can be applied to all ages. Maya is one "swell" kid.
It's no secret that we are bigtime John Flanagan fans over here. I recently re-read the first of the Brotherband Chronicles, The Outcasts. I remember being underwhelmed the first time around but now that I own an autographed copy of Book 5 (squee!) I began again.
Now I remember! I was frustrated that a plot twist in the last chapter or two chops off the story in media res.
This time however I was able to dive right into The Invaders: Brotherband Chronicles, Book 2. Hal and his seafaring friends are still on a long term quest, but I feel more settled now that Book 2 ended on a more positive note.I even got Book 3 from the library, because I must follow this until the end.
For all of you die-hard Ranger's Apprentice fans, Hal and Thorn are like Will and Halt. But with boats. Lots of boats and no horses.
Now for the rest or What Not to Read. I'm not going to bother making Amazon links for these, because they're just not worth my time or yours.
Masterminds by Gordon Korman. Meh. Kids in a seemingly perfect town learn that they are clones in a social experiment (The Truman Show?), and that their "parents" have lied to them their entire lives.
Very angst. Many hurts. Much unhappy with the grown-ups.
Also, the book is one big set-up for a series so the ending is really just the beginning and you know how I get irritated by that. Of all the books that I'm down on, this one is the least objectionable. I was annoyed by it, that's all.
Suite Scarlett by Maureen Johnson is about a girl, her quirky family, and the hotel they run in NYC. Could be fun and cute except that on page 1 we learn that it's Scarlett's fifteenth birthday. In the next few chapters, she falls in love with her college age brother's friend. Can you say statutory rape? Also her brother, the 19 or 20 something one is getting involved with one of the guests. A guest who is easily in her 50s. Hello Mrs. Robinson. Ew. I didn't finish it.
The War That Saved My Life by Kimberly Brubaker Bradley is about a girl with a clubfoot in England at the start of World War II. She is abused by her single mother, escapes the apartment she has been confined to her entire life, and gets relocated with other evacuees (including her brother) in rural Kent. In Kent, she finds acceptance and love in the home of her host.
Two problems.
First of all, I have read this book before. Different title. Boy child abused by his single mother, evacuated to rural England, rehabilitated by his host. It was called Goodnight Mr. Tom by Michelle Magorian. Both books are terribly tragic. The abuse story-lines are hard to stomach.
Secondly, in The War That Saved My Life, the woman who takes in the disabled girl and her brother is quite clearly a lesbian. She has suffered depression since the death of her lover. Taking in and caring for two evacuated, underfed, and disadvantaged children pulls her out of self-absorption and despondency.
Girls Like Us by Gail Giles. I want to like this book. The story of two special-ed high school graduates getting a home together and starting their adult lives is touching.
Let me just mention a few of the troubling topics.
Gang rape.
That's probably enough but there's more.
More rape.
And violence.
And abuse.
It was very painful to read.
Yes, the two mentally disabled young women become friends and find support and get their lives in order. But in a kids' book?!
Ok. I can't end on that note so let me direct your attention to my Instagram feed.
La, la, la, la, la...happy happy joy joy! That's Jill reading Perfect Square by Michael Hall.
Looking for picture books? I read far too many to review so I take pictures of the good ones and use the hashtag #housewifespicepicturebooks.
The collection grows every day. Jill is insatiable and my library has no limit on check-outs. Take a gander at the bounty of beautiful books that are actually appropriate for children!
*deep cleansing breaths*
That's better.
Now link up your book reports! I mean book reviews. Here's hoping your reads have been more peace filled than mine. This link up will be open til around May 30th. Perfect for the procrastinating reader.
Tries too hard. Vietnamese American girl with a connection to Rose Wilder Lane travels the country to do research and hooks up with a few guys along the way. #disappointed #adultbook
Fat kid who gained all of his weight since #spoiler his parents' double murder. Adopted by 911 dispatcher. Tries to find the killer with a long shot science project. #icried #teensandup
Girl enters foster care because her mom's boyfriend nearly beat her to death. Did her mom really hold her down while he beat her? #toodark #icried #makeyourkidsreadhappierstuff #teensandup
Best written book of this post. Autistic kid before autism had a name in a prep school in ME befriends KS kid whose mom just died. WWII. Bootleggers. Fiction that borders on fantasy. #middleschoolandup #awesome @vanderpool wrote #newbery #moonovermanifest
Young King Jaron and his landlocked country of Carthya are being attacked on all sides, by all of his enemies who have banded together against him.
With a few friends at his back, and lots of witty comments along the way, Jaron must face incredible odds while injured and grieving a devastating loss.
As usual, Nielsen combines great dialogue with action-packed adventure. I was particularly impressed with Jaron's invocation of "the saints" as he leads his people into battle and his concept of an afterlife for those who've lived virtuously.
I'd say these books are appropriate for ten and up? In The Shadow Throne, you will find battlefield violence, some tortuous beatings, death, blood, and the occasional kiss (maybe twice?). You will also find sacrifice, true love, loss, and responsibility, not to mention an epic surprise ending.
Cress is Marissa Meyer's sci-fi re-telling of Rapunzel, complete with a blind "prince."
Cress is a shell, which is like the Lunar version of a "squib." Lunars, the race of people that populates the moon, generally have the ability to control the minds of Earthens. But Cress doesn't.
She does have a gift for technology and hacking, which is why she has spent the last seven years of her life alone, in a satellite, monitoring all of Earth's secrets for the evil queen and cloaking the Lunar ships that are set to invade Earth.
Scarlet is only in this book briefly as she is captured by the Lunars and imprisoned on the moon. In those brief moments, she mentally re-hashes her one night of passion with Wolf and makes it seem as though perhaps it was just some passionate kisses.
In my opinion, the best scene in Cress, is when she and Captain Thorne (again, the likeness to Captain Jack Harkness was striking) crash land on Earth. Thorne has been blinded in a fight, and Cress has never been to the surface. He must ascertain their location and manage their survival through the eyes of someone who has never seen an animal in real life, or the sky, or the sun.
Her total naivete and innocence is the perfect foil for his brash womanizing attitude and their romance is one of the greatest things about this series.
Unlike the previous two volumes, Cress is very clean. Focused on fighting the evil Queen Levana and stopping her marriage to Cinder's heartthrob Emperor Kai, Cinder, Wolf, Cress, Thorne, and the lovable droid Iko face the impossible.
This series is definitely "young adult." I'll let my high school kids read it, I'd probably let an 8th grader read it, but with the joking sex change reference in Cinder, and the love scene and references to porn (which is frowned upon) in Scarlet, I'd definitely reserve this series for teens.
Last weekend, I discovered something quite interesting. Contrary to the propaganda I have been fed, my kids are not the only kids in the world with limited access to social media and technology. They are NOT the only teens in the US without smartphones.
Last Friday, we were at the pizza party the night before the oratorical competition and Susan had saved us seats...at a round table...where every other seat save one was occupied by another teenaged competitor. yay.
Talk about people watching. Listening to these teens was exasperating, mind-numbing, and yet weirdly illuminating. One or two of the girls were Totally Vapid. "OMG, I want a tattoo but I don't know what I would get. I mean I guess I would have to get my two cats because they are the most important things in my life right now."
But underneath all of the chit chat, there were some eye-opening realizations.
We were sitting with a higher class of nerd.
When Mason asked everyone, "What do you play?" Every teen at the table named at least THREE instruments, and/or mathlete, competitive dance, voice, glee club, or competitive speech.
When it was Susan's turn, she was dumbstruck. I mean she had just asked her neighbor, "What IS a bassoon?" and it was her turn.
Seeing her slack-jawed state, I blurted out with a big (scary) smile, "She plays volleyball!"
Everyone oohed and ahhed. These kids were NOT athletic = Understatement.
Another epiphany was when Rebecca told Zoe, "I just got a Facebook account like a month ago, and I have only been on there like twice. I don't even have Twitter." Zoe replied with an eyeroll, "I don't have Facebook or Twitter."
Then when Sanji said, "Do you want to see my phone?" Rebecca (of the future cat tattoos) said, "OMG, if you EVEN pull out the new Samsung Galaxy 4, I will DIE!" Sanji pulled out a flip phone circa 2000 and grinned. "It doesn't even get texts!" he said proudly.
We were also treated to a litany of Mason's weekend and after-school activities. That kid is so (over) scheduled, I doubt he has time to text or be on Facebook, much less play Fruit Ninja or do Snapchat.
I had been given the impression that my three high-schoolers were rare in that they might very well be the only teenagers in the 'verse who don't have smartphones, iPads, laptops, or ANY access to WiFi or the web without going through a parental portal, but apparently I was wrong.
It didn't start out this way.
It started out with limited texting.
Then one Kindle Fire.
Next came two iPod Touches.
And somewhere in there, texting became unlimited because the fees for going over their limits are more than the fees for unlimited.
Then it all got taken away, when we discovered a lot of ugly truths in a very short time period.
I knew there were apps on the Kindle, like Fruit Ninja and Temple Runner. We discovered that people were up waay past their bedtime (yes, I make my high-schoolers go to bed) wasting time slicing virtual fruit.
Or texting people of the opposite sex at all hours of the night.
Or using more than 10,000 texts in 2.5 weeks.
We discovered that our WiFi password was common knowledge. We periodically change our WiFi password, but here we made a critical error. We did not change our router password.
Teens KNOW EVERYTHING about technology.
There is some site where you can get your WiFi password if you have your router number (and if your router is not password protected) and the primary email, and even though I forgot what that site is, chances are your teen, or their friends know it.
With that discovery, the YouTube viewing history on the Kindle revealed several hours, like 70-100 hours of YouTube videos watched, mostly from a show that is verboten here, some from a movie that I would have let them watched had they just asked, and some silly videos that were slightly suggestive and linked to more dangerous content.
The iPod Touches that I naively thought could only be used for the music we had purchased (because the WiFi was supposedly password protected), were being used for texting (it's an app) and access to the entire internet, just like the Kindle, via the pirated WiFi password.
Everything went away. Completely. For every teen in our home.
And THEY SURVIVED!
Apps are dangerous.Did you know that there are apps out there that appear to be games but are actually hiding illicit content? I foolishly tried to search for articles about these apps, but including the terms "porn" or "illicit content" in my search got me nowhere (thank you filters!) except on some FBI predator watch-lists.
And no, my kids had no apps like that, but other kids I know have had those apps.
Good kids.
Kids with good parents.
Our children live in a world filled with temptations and danger beyond anything we dealt with as kids.
Starting with a clean slate, we have been able to re-instate some of the privileges that were lost, one at a time. We went on a huge learning curve, educating ourselves about things that we really don't have an aptitude or interest in, taking time and great pains to Teen-Proof our cyberspace.
Passwords:
EVERYTHING that can be password protected, should be. My cell phone and my laptop are password protected. Well, you need my right index fingerprint to use my laptop. The WiFi and the router are both password protected.
We still change the passwords regularly, and we use "holy" passwords, an idea that we stole from my parents. Religious things like "MaterDei128" which is Latin for Mother of God and the date of the feast of the Immaculate Conception. The more obscure the better.
We could even password protect our TV so that they can only watch programs of a certain rating, but unfortunately that prevents all live sporting events.
We blocked all offensive channels from our satellite receiver. Literate people could probably do that by reading the owner's manual, but we had to call our provider and have them walk us through it. Tedious for all involved, but worth it.
We don't do this because we think that the first second our back is turned, they are going to seek out terrible things. We do it to remove temptation, to protect their innocence, and because Patrick and I are revolted when WE have to scroll through those channels as well.
Filters:
We have a WiFi filter, and though it is far from perfect, it does work. I was unable to see some of Hallie Lord's favorite websites without the password for the filter, and I am unable to search for anything that includes the letter p, o, r, and n all in a row.
Did you know that Google has a filter called Safe Search? You can filter results on your own computer, which can be very nice while doing image searches of things for this blog. It's a button at the top of the Google page. Patrick says that everybody already knows this, but it was news to me.
Primary account holders can limit just about everything on cell phones.
The AT&T Smart Limits feature has allowed us to limit cell phone use past a certain time of day. After 10 pm, our children may only call or text our numbers.
We can limit quantities of texts, as well as what numbers can be texted and when. See above.
We can set up a time block to our wireless router so that it stops working at certain hours of the day or night.
Constant Vigilance:
With AT&T Smart Limits, we can see not only how many texts are being used by each cell phone user, but to what numbers and at what times. We can see who they call, and how long they are on the phone.
We check their Facebook pages and the email accounts. We have suggested that they unfriend this person or unlike this page from time to time. We have coached them on spam and phishing and helped them get unsubscribed from lists.
We helped them choose email addresses that do not reveal gender, name, or age.
My own Instagram account troubled me when I started getting "follow requests" from sleaze balls with offensive pictures. My mom told me to take my gender off my profile. It has also been suggested that "Housewifespice" isn't the best name for social media. I changed the gender to unidentified, reported the offensive photos, and I haven't had any problems since.
We have given them real examples of real life individuals who lost their college acceptance, got expelled from high school, or lost their jobs from what was posted on Facebook or Twitter. When I see articles like this one or this one, I make a point of educating them on how stupid mistakes can have huge consequences.
My teens' phones are subject to random checks from their parents. We pay for the phones, we own the phones, we are letting them have the privilege of using them.
We have suggested that they get their own two year contracts and pay their own cell phone bills with all the texting and apps they want, but surprisingly, they would rather play by our rules, for free!
A Case Against Smartphones
We are adamantly opposed to smartphones for our kids.
Who really needs a smartphone? If I could get a phone that was just a phone with email and Mapquest (because I forget stuff and get lost sometimes), that would be perfect. I don't need to carry the entire internet with me all the time.
Two of my brothers are in college right now. They are successful students, one a business major, one in grad school for chemical engineering and planning a wedding in June. They are good-looking, nice guys with lots of friends. They have never owned smartphones. My brother Greg can't even get my texts if I text him as part of a group.
Don't forget the higher class of nerd from last weekend. I have no doubt that (maybe with the exception of cat tattoo girl) they will be very successful adults.
My point is that not owning a smartphone has not affected them academically or socially.
Contrary to the picture my children have painted, it IS possible to be a well-adjusted, highly successful person WITHOUT a smartphone. I think more of us should try it, myself included.
I was recently asked if my kids resented the way things blew up and were removed, and they don't. Not anymore. There were some sullen and sad and shameful moments in the beginning, but they know we make the rules and pay the bills, and (hopefully) they know we did this because we love them.
Suddenly, having a phone from 7 am to 10 pm without texting seemed better than nothing at all. Now, a mere one hundred texts a month are a generous and precious commodity. Those prehistoric basic iPod minis that are only good for playing music have been located and charged again.
Sometimes, late at night the home phone rings and I get to hear, "Hello Mrs. Thornton! Is Peter there?"
