7QT: NYC and Poop, the verbal and non-verbal kinds

1.  Remember how I was going to go to NYC and see Cari, and Cardinal Timmy D., and Jimmy G.?  Well, it did occur.

I am descended from vampire folk.

2.  But first, we were literally kissing our children good-bye when I noticed the upstairs hall was smoky.  Yes, feathery plumes of smoke gently were cascading down the stairwell accompanied by an odor of fire.

***Insert imaginary GIF of "Charlie, LIGHT A MATCH!" from So I Married an Axe Murderer***

In our house, you drop a deuce, you light a match.

Someone, who shall remain nameless, got carried away with that procedure and was burning wads of toilet paper.

Crisis averted, matches confiscated, on to the airport for a 30 hour door-to-door whirlwind trip.

3.  New York City kind of smells like urine.  And elephant poop.  Especially near the Central Park Zoo, and when it rains.

4.  I recognized a ridiculous amount of stuff (shapes, numbers, architecture) from 70s Sesame Street episodes, which I am convinced were all filmed in Central Park.

Central Park looks exactly the same, but with less parachute pants and more leggings.

I think some of the signage is from when New York was New Amsterdam.

4.  Cari and Ken sat next to us at Mass.  Nothing like having a heavenly banquet with good friends.

5.  I made an ass of myself to Jeannie Gaffigan. Sometimes, I get diarrhea of the mouth.

Here she recoils from my verbal mishaps.

Jeannie is killing me with her mind as inner-Jessica dies a tormented death.

6.  Other than that, nothing else bad happened.

This is a larger-than-life photo of Cardinal Dolan's bathroom.  I didn't know why I took this photo at the time, but it all makes sense now.

Patrick, Promotheus, and Me.  We got this.

7.  When we got home, my friend told me about Poo-Pourri.

It's a real thing.  I bought a bottle for each bathroom.  No more pyros on the potty!

Linking up with Jen because it's Friday!  Friday!  Gotta link up on Friday!