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| I am descended from vampire folk. |
2. But first, we were literally kissing our children good-bye when I noticed the upstairs hall was smoky. Yes, feathery plumes of smoke gently were cascading down the stairwell accompanied by an odor of fire.
***Insert imaginary GIF of "Charlie, LIGHT A MATCH!" from So I Married an Axe Murderer***
In our house, you drop a deuce, you light a match.
Someone, who shall remain nameless, got carried away with that procedure and was burning wads of toilet paper.
Crisis averted, matches confiscated, on to the airport for a 30 hour door-to-door whirlwind trip.
3. New York City kind of smells like urine. And elephant poop. Especially near the Central Park Zoo, and when it rains.
4. I recognized a ridiculous amount of stuff (shapes, numbers, architecture) from 70s Sesame Street episodes, which I am convinced were all filmed in Central Park.
Central Park looks exactly the same, but with less parachute pants and more leggings.
| I think some of the signage is from when New York was New Amsterdam. |
4. Cari and Ken sat next to us at Mass. Nothing like having a heavenly banquet with good friends.
5. I made an ass of myself to Jeannie Gaffigan. Sometimes, I get diarrhea of the mouth.
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| Here she recoils from my verbal mishaps. |
| Jeannie is killing me with her mind as inner-Jessica dies a tormented death. |
6. Other than that, nothing else bad happened.
| This is a larger-than-life photo of Cardinal Dolan's bathroom. I didn't know why I took this photo at the time, but it all makes sense now. |
| Patrick, Promotheus, and Me. We got this. |
7. When we got home, my friend told me about Poo-Pourri.
It's a real thing. I bought a bottle for each bathroom. No more pyros on the potty!
Linking up with Jen because it's Friday! Friday! Gotta link up on Friday!

